Long time no write... Well, I've just been too busy with all the friggin school stuff. I hate it. I just wanna have free time!!!!!

I've been wishing for a love life for a long time. I'm just to damn tired of being SSB! Before, I thought I have felt love but it's only now that I realized that what I felt before was only infatuation. I know the difference now. How? I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY BEST GUY FRIEND!!! That sucked... I fell in love with him! All of a sudden I started feeling my heart break whenever I see him with this girl. That's not really such a big problem since I could think that he was just hanging out (even if I know there was a possibility) since the girl was a friend of his other best friend. But he stopped going to my classroom. He started breaking away from me! What excuse can I cook up now...? How could he?!? I feel so damn pathetic. Now, I found out he already has a girlfriend AND he's courting someone else! I hate it. Why is he too damn secretive? How could I not know??? Why didn't he tell me...? How could he?!? Such a two-timer. But where did I find, in my heart, the love to help him court this girl whom I'm just too envy of? Love is stupid. I hate it. To come to think of it, this, HE, is my first love. My first REAL love. And I'm already HEARTBROKEN! LOVE SUCKS! LIFE SUCKS! I WANNA DIE! Where is the one that's for me. The one that is destined for me? ONLY ME?!?